So I did some research on a game I could get into. I checked out Crysis which is  amazing but the requirement is unheard of. People on xfire were like "I HATE U" when I was playing it cause not alot of people can play it with the computer game specs being high. Then I downloaded Call of Duty 4 demo. I have to say I am not that into Army games but when I played this game, I was amazed how detailed it was. So much chaos going around me. I was getting used to the game quickly cause the movement controls are the same as halo. Now thats a good start for me instead of learning new buttons for movement. I beat the demo although I was kinda confused at some parts but thats expected considering I have never played a war like game. So I went head and bought the game today. I will mostly be playing this game on multiplayer. Now anime wise I have to take a good look at some good ones. Im going to Chicago on March 15th so I got some time. I am getting myself ready to apply for college. I printed out the application today. I just gotta fill it out with transcript and stuff. Doesn't seem that hard really. I was thinking about Final Fantasy X today and how much I hold this game in my heart. Everything about it is perfect and everyone knows how hard it is to say that about a video game considering many feel they could do better instead of being satisfied with its greatness. I was not talking about Final Fantasy X but in games general. Anyways here are some pics from Final Fantasy X I real liked.


This is Guado Salam. A really nice place, you have to go to this town to go to the Farplane.


This is the Farplane where the dead gets sented to so they can be free of pain and suffering.


Another beautiful pic of the Farplane.


This is a spot before getting to Zanarkand. The group stayed here and really connected here.


This is Tidus dad, Jecht formed with Fayth.


This is Zanarkand, the biggest city that was distroyed by Sin.


This is Zanarkand 1000 years later.  Now its just a ruins

So I figured it's time for me to register for college. I dunno what I wanna do with my life so Im just gonna go undecided going into college. Just get some college credits and then go from there.  Im going to head to chicago with my uncle and his family for a week. Going to drive from NY to Chitown. This is really the best thing that could happen right now since I really needed to get away from NY for even a week. When I get back, I will find a job cause I can't pay for my car without money. I expected myself to get a job around the time I was going out of high school. I only have 1 class which is Forensic Science, once a week. Passed all the regents I needed to take so now I could really just relax and get that weight off my shoulders. Im thinking on getting into an anime and some video games on the PC since I have all the time in the world now. If I don't start watching an anime or games now then it ain't gonna happen ever considering with a job/college/friends ect. Time will be on the essence. I do look forward to it. Once Im making money it's more clubbing/drinking and more. Although drinking is a bad thing to get into, I understand that it's part of social hanging? Maybe once I get a girlfriend, I would cut down on the drinking but who knows what the future holds. One thing I am very proud to have finished is getting my Witch Set on Gunbound. Even though it's been over a month since I done this, Better late than never.

I thought about maybe putting this journal on private so maybe I could type out stuff I normally wouldn't put down when it's public. Then continue writing about whatever is crossing your mind. Then look back in a year or two later and reading those entries and really see how much your life has changed. I have heard from quite a few people that being 17-19 years of age and how you would be changing once your like 21 and older. I don't see it. I see myself the same way as I am right now and in the the future.

I must say It's been a lonely year so far. I find out a girl I been thinking about alot , has a boy friend even though her page says she is single. I known her in HS. We used to take a few classes together. We would talk alot and it was great. I think it was more of me leaning on her rather than love i think. Now I got no one to lean on and it feels kinda bad but Im a grown man and I just have to deal with it. Im starting to realize that it's just not healthy to give so much love to one girl only to be let down by her. I saw her at school and I must say I did love her or else I wouldn't have my heart just about to pop out of surprise of seeing her. The night before I asked God if I could just see her one more time and BAM God heard my prayer and I see her the next day. Amazing stuff. Too bad she looked like she wanted to have nothing to do with me. She saw me as well but she just turned her head the other way. I have to admit it's pretty hard to leave all this behind and just move on but it needs to be done.

One thing I have realized from my friends is that it's better to be a player than being the one thats getting played. They always talk about not getting too close with a girl cause they will just break your heart. I was too stubborn to listen to them but they are right. I thought maybe this girl was different but hey move on right. From now on, I will not get emotionally attached to a girl.

I read a book for school which was really interesting. I HATE reading books but for school it had to be done. So the teacher told us we could choose any book we want as long as it's 12th grade level book. I chose "Go Ask Alice". This book is all diary entries from a girl named Alice who has experienced with drugs, rape, emotional stress. If you don't feel like reading the whole book on her. Check Spark Notes for a summary of each entries.

So as I said I would start posting entries after regents was over and it is. I would like to start off and say I have never been good at writing about what's going on in my life so to speak. I have had Xanga which was nice but I never cared much about it. Hopefully I post an entry often and interact with people here. I have a MySpace where they have blogs and all I got is a couple of surveys as my blogs. I rarely use Myspace anymore just cause most of my friends don't use MySpace or I don't have enough friends on there to talk with. I will say though I don't even try to make friends on it. Guess I just don't put any kinda effort into it except designing a nice page to look at.

I have to say last night was very interesting and social. A few friends called up and asked if I wanted to come with them to chill for a bit and I went. It was fun. Had a few drinks although it was pretty windy and cold outside I didn't feel like drinking so I had like a cup. Then another guy showed up and we all talked for a bit and headed to his crib. There was a few girls there, one of them I really liked and wanted to meet. I won't say her name in blogs though since I wouldn't want her name out there if I don't know how she feels about it. So being inside a house I start drinking some more in the warm weather with some loud music and dancing. Let me tell you Im not a good dancer but when your drunk, you wouldn't really care. Then I went to see her and meet her since we never talked. Introduced myself and she did the same. She is really friendly as she was having some beer I asked for a sip. Obviously she knew at this point I liked her as she was smiling more. Went to her room with her and talked, listening to her ipod together. Then her friend came and we just all talked for a while. When I got sometime alone with the one I liked, I told her if you feel uncomfortable with anything I do, let me know. She was like nah your fine. So after some more talk I layed down on her lap as she was talking to her friend. I got up after a while and she went and layed down on her sofa while I was holding her hand as we talked. Obviously from all the beer I had, I told her straight up that I really liked her and she is beautiful. She smiled and said Thank You. Sex was never an intension when I thought about her. As alot of guys I know and myself know how the system works around. Guys intension to to talk to a girl they like so they can have sex with her without actually knowing alot about her. There is quite a few guys that don't think like that though and they have some respect even though they wanna have sex which is fine as long as you got the respect for the woman. I felt asleep for a minute holding her hand as she was asleep too. We had to leave since it was about 4:30 AM. All in all, it was really enjoyable experience that I been missing for a year or so and Im glad to bring it back.

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